You have two weeks to sober-up enough to vote or, if you can’t put down Gramma’s ash pipe, you can mail it in. Well, why not mail in citizenship apps from, say, Somalia? You may respond in any language except Hmoob. Even Hillary’s fucked-up State Department wouldn’t let you respond in Hmoob. There will be only two questions:

  1. Wil U vot Demcrat?
  2. Kin U swam?

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