If the American male is a shadow of his former self, check out the chicks. They pay small car prices for designer washing machines that promise to launder 50 pounds of clothing with a quart of water. They GPS an address one (1) block away. They buy plastic containers to boil (swear to God) to boil eggs in. Yes, there are lids. Yes, the egg comes out egg-shaped. Yes, there is always water under the rim. Yes, there is now something else to wash, but they’re dishwasher-safe, and they save her the drudgery of having to p…p…peel an egg. Onna plus side (wait for it…) “Screech! I have 6 tuppereggwares but only 5 lids! I know you put your fishing worms in one!” YAY! Now she won’t notice the Kimber Custom Shop you gifted yourself with the day you brought her home a sweater. Do-dah.

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