Q: Who knows that “first attempt” at delivery really means “only attempt”?
A: The USPS.

Q: If there will be no second attempt, why say, “first attempt”?
A: Ask any Democrat.

Q: Why not just say, “Pick up your package at the Post Office”?
A: Because it wouldn’t be as annoying.

America is not alone in her burden of maniacal unelected career bureaucracy. Any country with the redundant, contradictory, and absurd title of “The Peoples’ Democratic Republic of (anything) is assured of a viciously anti-people regime. Commies and Clintons, it seems, employ the same tactic: Baffle Them With Bullshit. Even monarchies are not immune to idiocy. Consider one sad instance in England during something called World War I (look it up) which proves that brainless bureaucrats have been breeding for generations.

“The best way of continuing to use the sail training-ships at that time was discovered when the MEDWAY, with a full complement of cadets, was put on the trade between South America and South Africa. This kept her out of the war zones and at the same time gave her cadets the classic training of a number of Cape Horn roundings. But the bureaucrats stepped in. The ship was seized—requisitioned is the official word—by an official styled the Shipping Controller. She was rigged down and engine as a sort of oil-tanker. This was the more criminally stupid in that Devitt & Moore had already arranged, at the requested of the Anglo-Saxon Petroleum Company, to dispose of the ship to them for use as a sailing tanker. She would have had an auxiliary engine but the cadets could have remained. She would not have been rigged down. At least the tradition (and the training—P.B.) would be maintained. But the bureaucrats sent the cadets packing, and the Medway was ruined.” –Alan Villiers, The Way of a Ship

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