WALLY WORLD

Q: What causes “See Raccoon, Put Out Food” Syndrome?

A: Post WW II an acid-head/robber baron named Disney indoctrinated an entire generation with Bambi Brain, which anthropomorphizes animals, usually stopping just short of “See Cougar, Out Child” Syndrome. Cumbaya.

Q: What about “See Orca, Put Out Baby Baleen Whale” Syndrome?

A: Orcas don’t eat baby whales, Silly; they drown them just for sport. Cuymbaya.

Note: When bored with herding tuna, orcas are fond of hanging on the lower jaw of an adult baleen whale until it becomes exhausted, whereupon they eat its tongue and leave it to starve to death. Footage exists of a pod of orcas preventing a blue whale from sounding while their buddies chewed a door-sized hole in his side, again for sport. This frolic finally fatigued them, and the big guy swam off to a slow death by infection and starvation. Cumbaya.

Ps: Sharks kill to eat; never for sport. Hard to hate that. Orcas are a high order of intelligent mammals, and they are cruel bastards FREE FUCK WILLY.

Finally, Orcas don’t screw with sperm whales, whose bony heads make ballistic battering rams, as the crew on the whaling ship Essex found out. A sperm whale will head-butt an orca into hamburger, which sounds like a good use for them. Moreover, sperm whales have teeth, with which these badasses make a living eating Humboldt and giant squid. A yuppie broad once thought it was a Good Idea to swim with them. The sperm whales didn’t. Cumbayaaah!

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