The pinch-faced (Is there any other kind?) yuppie broad told the vet, “We always put the rubber bands away, but the cat can still get to them”. Swear to God. Her wife nodded in solemn agreement. The Good News: none of them will breed. Yaya.

Note: The cat is straight, but she’s been fixed.


“NO BARRIERS, NO BORDERS; WE ALL JUST NEED TO COEXIST” intoned geopolitical expert Katy Perry from her gated, guarded community.

Lib-rals: change woman to “identifies as female”; conservative to “deplorable”.

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