Noah traded his Birkenstocks for Noconas (look it up) on Day One; hippies schlepped in shit* for three days before they Saw The Light. Once back at their Park Avenue co-ops, they boosted some bread from their capitalist parents and bought up every Frye boot in Manhattan. Note: Jesus swung by Woodstock to check out Nirvanna. Nobody noticed Him. This explains why hippies smell that way: their clothing has been in a consignment shop for 2,000 years. P.S.: I wonder if the attendees at The Sermon On The Mount left behind as much unspeakable squalor and filth as the scumbags who attended Woodstock, The Isle of Wight, or any Earth Day/Antifa infestation.
*Those aging hippies better bring along Frye boots when visiting their grandchildren in LA or Sf.
TIPS: Gavin Newsome should walk the streets of San Francisco. In Birkenstocks. (This’ll cure ya from “walkin in” your jeans, pronto.)
P.S.: “Birkenstock” is ancient Aramaic for “ain’t getting’ laid”. Look it up.