I know sumpin’ ’bout wine, I keep coupla cats and I recycle. (Relax. I have a cow dog, and I hunt & fish, so I’m basically straight.) The cats thank me every time I feed them, though not right away (and they don’t slobber on me). ‘Cept one. She takes ever’thing she gets as an entitlement, then wants more. ‘Fi run outta treats, she howls, “Roawrr! which is cat for “Entitlement!” When the others are rubbin’ out a “Thank You,” Miss Thing is online, texting to see if she can score some free* “medical” catnip with O.P.M.** She shouts down any cat who dares to disagree with her (Meowrr!), which, of course, is cat for “You intolerant conservatives.” At night, she dons a black mask, sneaks out of her gated, armed-guarded (by me) pussy door, and tries to throw a bike rack through a capitalist store window. She calls herself “Antifa.” I call her Democat.


PS: When Democat was 15 (months), she went into heat and took on two toms. Now that she is 54 (months), she is having second thoughts. I know all this is true, because she is female. Do-dah.


*free: on the backs of the tqaxpayers

**Other People’s Money

Leave a Reply