Woman: a being, some say sentient, who buys shirts with cuttons in the back*, sacrifices the vision of one eye for a hairstyle**, hangs shiny objects from her rear-view mirror***, and hits stationary objects because she “never drove that car before”****.
*Swear to God.
**You think I am making this up, don’t you?
***Aw, to be blinded by glare you’d have to look at it.
****It had no fuzzy thing on the steering wheel.
NOTE: No man ever bought size 7 shoes for his size 8 feet.