NEW GREEN RULES FOR SELF-DEFENSE

“You must match force with an equal level of force.” -Cumbaya crowd

You awake to find a burglar in your home. She brandishes a club. You haul out a handgun. Realizing that you will be arrested rather than the home invader, you pitch your pistol out the window and deploy your daughter’s baseball bat*. The thug grabs a Glock from her waistband and points it at your nutsack. Now, don’t YOU feel like a fucking asshole?

*Your girl plays softball, soccer, lacrosse, and football.

Your boy plays Dungeons & Dragons. Advantage: progressives.

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