Owner: “Sit, Stay! Roll Over! Pull this cart! Fetch! Catch! Retrieve!

Dog: “Whatever you say Boss.”

Valet: “Get off that (couch, trophy shelf, keypad, Ferrari, etc.)”

Cat: “You talkin’ to Me? Seriously? In that tone? Watch me not move. Asshole.”

Yep, cats are a bit set in their ways. Call ‘em c-c-conservative. I like that in a person. I love my bitch, too, but she reminds me of today’s NEA (union, no competency testing)-educated, I mean, taught “liberal” know-nothings who so willingly serve as the “useful idiots” of Marx and Engels. Thank a teacher.*

*And/or ex-hippie parents. (Pass the bong, Gramma)