Spark says, “Hi, there!”

Spunk says, “Nope.”

Spark hits the guest room and closes the door (swear to God).

Q: How long before Spunk sits at said door, waiting for it to open?
A: ’Bout… now.

LESSON: Express interest, then back off. If she is not charmed, ain’t nothin’ you can do to start something. If she is, ain’t nothin’ you can do to stop it.

PS: Except this. Noting no un-tan line on your ring finger, she expresses relief. “Half the guys I meet are married or day,” she says. Drunk enough to place humor over hummina, you hear yourself say, “I’ve been divorced for 20 years, and I’m basically straight. Tee-hee.” Dumbass. (She — and the drink I had just bought her — disappeared in a flash.)