Money is a Good Thing. Money can buy a chick a pair of Charles Jourdan shoes, if she has enough of it. Slightly less Money can get a guy a Ducati Paningale or a vintage Macthless, Vincent, or Velocette. There is only one entity that can make you give up your dreams of a Duke and spend the jack on her. Yep, Woman is the Wellspring of Wickedness, and I can prove it.

Like most men, Adam was quite content to walk around like a dumbass. Lots to eat and drink, daily booty calls, and nothin’ nor nobody tryin’ too hard to kill him: what’s to think about? Along comes a very cute chick (actually, a cobby-lookin’ one woulda worked just as well, since at that time it was just Adam and Rosie Palm) who convinces him that it would be a Good Idea to defy God and take a bite outta the Source of Knowledge. Sounds absurd, I know, since any man who’s getting’ all he can handle (sorry) don’t wanna know nothin’. Now, if’n Adam had been celibate, it would have saved us all a…a lot of trouble.

Q: But…were Adam celibate, how would procreation have begun?
A: Like I said, it would have saved us all a lot of trouble. (Look around you.)

NOTE: After you go sayin’ that the Devil is the W.O.W., consider that in at least one Jesus film Satan(a) is played by a (somewhat androgynous) female. Perhaps the Director realized that, logically (the ladies may skip this part), the opposite of a good male God is an evil female Devil. Moreover, females fare surpass men (feminists will hate to dispute this) in a capacity for nastiness. Piss off a man and he might punch you in the face. Irritate a woman and she will key your car.

Any questions?

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