Can’t avoid meeting that pinch-faced yuppie down the block. She’s gonna say, “This is a pure-bred Gran Dolor en el Culo; what is that?”. I’ll be able to announce, “That is a Doggus Bovinus bitch, and she’s on Prozak”.

On second thought, I’m gonna say, “That is a Doggus Bovinus, bitch…”

Tried one o’ them Prozaks just to see what the attraction is, other than preventing Bones from chewing off her bandage. Bad stuff. Hada sit down to pee. Aarrgh…so that’s why you gals want the seat down. Anyway, when it was time to get up, I couldn’t. Woulda spent the night ‘cept I feared I’d fall off and hit my head; didn’t want that obit, so I slid off and made it to the dog bed. Real attractive. Luckily, Amazing Grace (or was it Dammit Janet?)

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