DO THEM A FAVOR: TAKE THEM TO SUITABLE HABIAT AND LEAVE THEM ALONE

Finding the outside cat dish overturned? ‘Possum (or armadillo). Dish upright but filthy? ‘Possum (or armadillo). ‘Dillos, you see, grub for…grubs. Their marsupial mates are omnivorous, which includes carrion. This ‘splains* why they become unkempt as teenagers and smell real bad as adults, and they don’t even do meth. While no baby elephants, young opossums are (unlike their parents) not unlovely, but they eat dead stuff, sometimes old dead stuff. Like buzzards, they have a natural immunity to bad bacteria, but d your domestic animals? Do you? Your best move is to trap ‘em and deport ‘em (don’t tell no lib-rals) to and undeveloped area having a perennial pond or stream and a fair-sized woodlot (‘Possums prefer spending time aloft for scouting/security/safe sex. Let ’em.)

Omnivorous: means it eats any damn thing. See also: Cajun

*cultural appropriation courtesy of Desi Arnaz (R.I.P.). Fucking sue me.

P.S.: Adult opossums don’t run; they waddle. If you are among the louts who run them (and turtles, snakes, etc.) over because you can, you are in for some unpleasantness. Think today’s “liberal” thought police are vicious? Wait ‘till you see what Karma has in store for you. Mindlessly murdering the Lord’s innocents will piss Him off. Dumbass.

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