Collard greens being too dang strong, ever-buddy boils ‘em with ham hocks. What this gives you, of course, is ham hocks what tayst like too-strong collards. Think about it. Boil ‘em ‘till next week, they steel be stewin’ in they own juices. Enter NEW DEAL Greens. (The horror!) Rinse ‘em if’n you must, but soakin’ ‘em inna sink (or a damn big pot) is the onliest why you gonna git thee say-ind out. Now blanch ‘em in salted boiling water to which you’ve added coupla slices o’ honey/brown sugar hay-im (it don’t mike no nevermaand). Soon’s they weeltid (bouta minute), tike ‘em out, drain and cool’em for freezing in small batches (quart freezer bay-ings’ll do). While you’re attit, tiest em. They already mild enough to et, chop for a dee-ip, put inna salad, on a sammich, or sautee fer a minnit in olive awl what you already fraad sum garlic in . Now, yuppie bastard, didja pour summa the nutrients a-why with thee blanch water? You bet. Didja lose a much food value as boilin’ ‘em for an R or more? Way-ell, you got the kerm-puter, sonny; you tay-ell me. Enneywhy, Ahm eatin’ collards: ‘Kinda TV dinner you havin’ fer yore brekfust?

NOTE TO Lib-RAL THOUGHT & LANGUATE POL-LICE: Dialect culturally appropriated courtesy of coupla goods frens what spikes thet why. Fucking sue me.

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