CHAPTER 1: HILLARY’S HOYDENS AD OBNOXIA

Axiom: Your parents are the products of ex-hippies. They know nothing, so you know nothing. Stay that way and do as you are told by your lib-ral overseers. No diversity (of thought) allowed.

Rule 1: Drop all the feminine graces, pronto. Instantly adopt every boorish male mannerism to the extreme, unencumbered by any sense of shame, remorse, regret, compassion, or common sense.

Rule 2: Rule 1 prepared you: mindlessly mimic what the boys are doing absent a clue as to why. Thus unfettered, you may over celebrate every goal, however meaningless, as when you are up over tiny Thailand. Remain incapable of differentiating between a hard-fought win and a hollow victory. This “empowers” you to force yourself into an occupation that does not suit you by playing the sexism card, and then really sucking at it. You can do anything you want. Teacher said so.

Rule 3: Disrespect the Country that provided the perks to put you where you are. Note: Younger (and better) people than you have fought and died (their­ Opponents were shooting at them) to defend your right to drag your Country’s flag on the ground, so be an ass and Just Do It.

Rule 4: Gracelessly use your sports status to proport political prowess, just like any singer or pretender (actor). In this you will be abetted by fawning liberal-compliant media as long as you hate Trump. (For an account of actual air time afforded conservative jocks*, singers, and pretenders [actors]. See page 1,000.)

*Q: Is it OK TO REFER TO Womens (more or less) Soccer Stars as “jocks”?

A: Since I suspect that some of them have something to stuff into one why, yes. Yes, I believe it is.

Absolutely, positively unrelated to the above and I had one beer (the Dr. O.J.Ford defense): I watched the pussy paw a ball around the room using only her feet. Well, OK, she (rarely) used her head. Suddenly I know why Womens (more or less) Soccer game is called a “match”. Meeow…uh, I mean, Hear Me Roar. Hey Moe! That’s it!

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