BACHELOR TIP

You best learn your way around the kitchen, Sonny, ‘cause your post-reminist girlfriend (Massachusetts: “partner”) thinks she is not allowed.

I usta thought it was quaint when, in her dotage, Mom rinsed food storage bags for re-use. ‘ Course, Mom lived through the Great Depression, brought on by the dustbowl created by irresponsible farming…Oops!; the worst I hada deal with was the recent Apology Years. Now, I ain’t gonna wash no bag, but I will save one whose only occupant had been a head o’ lettuce and use it for bagging cat poop, dog throw-up, things I find in my bathroom, etc.

Yuppie broad (frantic); “But…but…(yuppies all say ‘but…but…’) if you re-use it, you can’t re-cycle it!

Almost Sentient Being: “There, there. Say, there’s a tofu sale at Sky & Saffron’s Sprouts, Sprigs, Seeds & Stems Shop. Run along, now.”

Note: A Tofu “sale”? Sounds kinda capitalist to me. Hmm. Cumbaya capitalism. Why not? We already have limousine lib-rals and a Barbra Streisand who wants You to hang YOUR laundry on a rope. Why, next we’ll have solar energy panel deserts in Vail, Windmills in Hyannis Port, an asylumseeker welcome center in Martha’s Vinyard, and citizenship classes iin Kennebunkport. Yay.

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