AYE, MATEY: CAN-YA CAPITALISM (might be a good time to buy W. Grant & Sons stock)

Our Nicaraguan friends have long made a fine dark rum picturesquely named Flor de Cana. Their light libation, Extra Secco, is ‘bout as smooth as Bacardi Superior but has more flavor. Curiously, when mixed with Coke, the taste goes away to the point that you’ll go 50/50 before you’ve mixed a drink that’ll get you a compliment. Remember this next time you feel piratical towards M’Lady. N.B.: keep track o’ your glass, son. As Always, the goal is to get her to make rash decisions, not you. ARRGH! Importer: William Grant & Sons, New York

Buzzkill: even if she signed a release or got you drunk and had her way with you, it don’t make no nevermind. “A woman must be believed”, says Kirsten Gillibrand, and all our lib-ral friends will nod their empty heads and chant: “#Me Too Pulled A Train In High School”. Thirty-six (36) years from now, tearfully and in baby talk, bitch will accuse you of rape. Hear me roar.

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