You don’t pray TO them; you ask for their help. Still, lotsa folks deny the intercession of saints. I doubt it, too, until Dad (who was no saint) helped me with a project. (He was a master carpenter; I hammer nails.) As I built something …
Read MoreREALLY WHITE PRIVLEGE
Elizabeth P. Fleming Warren has to make up adversity in her life. It must be nice.
Read MoreNO WORRIES
Not sure what she’ll do while you’re out of town? Buy her buncha chocolate bars before you go. From what I’ve seen in the Lindt ads, she’ll never the house. P.S.: Did I pull my card too soon? “You’re good”, said the cute CVS cashier; …
Read MoreWE WON! THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! WE LOST. THE PEOPLE ARE DEPLORABLE
Populist: What Democrats proport to be when We The People vote “liberal”*. Socialist: What Democrats become when We The People vote conservative. *”liberal” is in quotes because it now means the opposite. See: Red Hat Test.
Read MoreAYE, MATEY: CAN-YA CAPITALISM (might be a good time to buy W. Grant & Sons stock)
Our Nicaraguan friends have long made a fine dark rum picturesquely named Flor de Cana. Their light libation, Extra Secco, is ‘bout as smooth as Bacardi Superior but has more flavor. Curiously, when mixed with Coke, the taste goes away to the point that you’ll …
Read MoreCHILDREN OF THE CHILDREN OF THE FLOWER CHILDREN: HOW THE 1960s RUINED A COUNTRY
The microwave instructions end with, “Contents will be hot”. Your kids need this. Thank any NEA (union, no competency testing) teacher and yourself, plus your own bong-huffing progenitrix and her hippie (Gramma’s goin’ clear again!) Sanctity of Motherhood. Peace.
Read MoreCOBBLER CAPITALISM
Somebody should make women’s shoes that run crazy-large. That way, Miss Thing can shove her size 10 hoofs into ‘em and say she wears a 6. They’ll sell a crapload. Note: makers of horse jockey boots already do this to help the lads with their …
Read MoreLEXI-CON
at CNN, The President of The United States is “Trump”: a high school class skank is always “Dr. Ford”.
Read MoreI HATE TRUCK RACING
Hey Moe! Let’s race something that is patently unsuited to the task. Q: You mean, bowl race a pickup truck? A: Don’t be ridiculous. Let’s at least use a shopping cart. Truck racing encourages young snotty to install loud pipes (and little else) on his …
Read MoreVEGANS WALK THE WALK
Yuppies get their burger in little spare packages while disparaging those nasty hunters. News flash: If you buy meat, someone else does your killing for you. I challenge you to eat one (1) wild game meal, preferably from a hoofed animal, and feed Fido* the …
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