Phil Berto

Phil Berto

What's On My Mind?

  • Snippets: The Book
    • Sample Snippets Free
    • Memes
  • HOME
  • SNIPPED: America Post #ME TOO
  • SNIPS: Comments From The Black And Blue
  • Snippets News
  • Privacy Policy
  • About Phil

THEY HAVE…CONNECTIONS

You don’t pray TO them; you ask for their help. Still, lotsa folks deny the intercession of saints. I doubt it, too, until Dad (who was no saint) helped me with a project. (He was a master carpenter; I hammer nails.) As I built something …

Read More
Leave a Comment on THEY HAVE…CONNECTIONSOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

REALLY WHITE PRIVLEGE

Elizabeth P. Fleming Warren has to make up adversity in her life. It must be nice.

Read More
Leave a Comment on REALLY WHITE PRIVLEGEOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

NO WORRIES

Not sure what she’ll do while you’re out of town? Buy her buncha chocolate bars before you go. From what I’ve seen in the Lindt ads, she’ll never the house. P.S.: Did I pull my card too soon? “You’re good”, said the cute CVS cashier; …

Read More
Leave a Comment on NO WORRIESOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

WE WON! THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! WE LOST. THE PEOPLE ARE DEPLORABLE

Populist: What Democrats proport to be when We The People vote “liberal”*. Socialist: What Democrats become when We The People vote conservative. *”liberal” is in quotes because it now means the opposite. See: Red Hat Test.

Read More
Leave a Comment on WE WON! THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! WE LOST. THE PEOPLE ARE DEPLORABLEOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

AYE, MATEY: CAN-YA CAPITALISM (might be a good time to buy W. Grant & Sons stock)

Our Nicaraguan friends have long made a fine dark rum picturesquely named Flor de Cana. Their light libation, Extra Secco, is ‘bout as smooth as Bacardi Superior but has more flavor. Curiously, when mixed with Coke, the taste goes away to the point that you’ll …

Read More
Leave a Comment on AYE, MATEY: CAN-YA CAPITALISM (might be a good time to buy W. Grant & Sons stock)October 17, 2019 By Brandy

CHILDREN OF THE CHILDREN OF THE FLOWER CHILDREN: HOW THE 1960s RUINED A COUNTRY

The microwave instructions end with, “Contents will be hot”. Your kids need this. Thank any NEA (union, no competency testing) teacher and yourself, plus your own bong-huffing progenitrix and her hippie (Gramma’s goin’ clear again!) Sanctity of Motherhood. Peace.

Read More
Leave a Comment on CHILDREN OF THE CHILDREN OF THE FLOWER CHILDREN: HOW THE 1960s RUINED A COUNTRYOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

COBBLER CAPITALISM

Somebody should make women’s shoes that run crazy-large. That way, Miss Thing can shove her size 10 hoofs into ‘em and say she wears a 6. They’ll sell a crapload. Note: makers of horse jockey boots already do this to help the lads with their …

Read More
Leave a Comment on COBBLER CAPITALISMOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

LEXI-CON

at CNN, The President of The United States is “Trump”: a high school class skank is always “Dr. Ford”.

Read More
Leave a Comment on LEXI-CONOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

I HATE TRUCK RACING

Hey Moe! Let’s race something that is patently unsuited to the task. Q: You mean, bowl race a pickup truck? A: Don’t be ridiculous. Let’s at least use a shopping cart. Truck racing encourages young snotty to install loud pipes (and little else) on his …

Read More
Leave a Comment on I HATE TRUCK RACINGOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

VEGANS WALK THE WALK

Yuppies get their burger in little spare packages while disparaging those nasty hunters. News flash: If you buy meat, someone else does your killing for you. I challenge you to eat one (1) wild game meal, preferably from a hoofed animal, and feed Fido* the …

Read More
Leave a Comment on VEGANS WALK THE WALKOctober 17, 2019 By Brandy

Posts navigation

1 2 3 4 5 … 65

Subscribe to Snippets

Get notified whenever I post something new.

Recent Posts

  • ALBERTA GOREWELL
  • CRIMINALS
  • NOT FOOD
  • EQUIPMENT
  • MEDICATION CHIC MEETS COW DOG
Copyright © 2019 Phil Berto.  Book Landing Page By Rara Theme. Powered by WordPress. Privacy Policy