The first time I encountered a bra which hooked in the front I wondered why I didn’t. then I realized that they are worn by beings whose blouses button in the back. Hey Moe! We need more female engineers. Yea, that’s it!
Read MoreSAVIN’ YER ACHIN’ BACK (AND YES, HOME ECONOMICS IS SEXIST)
If the garden hose blows out near the middle, you might want to get two couplings* rather than one union so you can make two 25 footers, which are damn handy when (if) you get old (older). If you need 50’, why, they do screw …
Read MoreGILLIBRAND GLOSSARY
Democrat: a dove when Trump deploys troops; a hawk when he withdraws them. CNN: see “Democrat National Committee”. It’s the same thing. Lib-ral democrat: puts the wants of every undocumented, unvetted, unvaccinated, unemployed, illiterate illegal alien invader, whose Country this ain’t, over the safety and …
Read MoreI’M SORRY, SISTER ST. JOHN-OF-THE-HOLY-CROSS. I’LL BE GOOD!
The nuns wasted their time threatening us with the horrors of hell. All they hada do was say that there would be endless Adam Sandler movies. How-will-YOU-spend-eternity?
Read MoreGREEN NEW CONSTITUTION
Only the militia may keep and wear red hats if they bare the right arms of people at the fringe of their 2nd commencement. If this makes sense to you, please buy soft towels and a loofah, shirts that button in the back, shoes that …
Read MoreQUIDADO QUE TE CREIA
“There are Jews, Mr. President, and there are Jews.” – Henry Kissinger “There are Southerners, and there are Northfloridians.” -P.Phantomini Like you, onliest thing I knew about Richard Nixon (today it’s the NRA and Trump) was what biased, dishonest, liberal-complaint “news” media told me. At …
Read MoreFIRST, the ad showed her driving while he minds the baby. NOW, Mom comes home from work, finds Dad watching Oprah.
Read MoreCLEAN MEAT BEATS BIG PHARMA
Fed the dog game meat every other day and halved her arthritis meds. Q: How’d you get her off the other half? A: Fed her game meat every day. P.S.: Her step ramp is now shed siding. Do-dah.
Read MoreSOCIALISTS SEEK SECOND-BEST
You’ve dispensed with Dad and celebrate single moms. Meanwhile, your daughter is knocked-up, your son can’t hang a shelf, your 8-month old is in daycare, and you still rent. What else has progressivism done for you? Sure, there are Moms who cant teach their boy …
Read MoreHEAR ME ROAR
Madonna would bomb the White House without a care for all the innocents who work there. American women still swoon. Kathy Griffith holds a facsimile of the severed head of The President of The United States, whom half the Country elected. American women still support …
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