Phil Berto

Phil Berto

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Author: Brandy

LOOKIN’ FOR LOGIC

The first time I encountered a bra which hooked in the front I wondered why I didn’t. then I realized that they are worn by beings whose blouses button in the back. Hey Moe! We need more female engineers. Yea, that’s it!

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Leave a Comment on LOOKIN’ FOR LOGICNovember 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

SAVIN’ YER ACHIN’ BACK (AND YES, HOME ECONOMICS IS SEXIST)

If the garden hose blows out near the middle, you might want to get two couplings* rather than one union so you can make two 25 footers, which are damn handy when (if) you get old (older). If you need 50’, why, they do screw …

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Leave a Comment on SAVIN’ YER ACHIN’ BACK (AND YES, HOME ECONOMICS IS SEXIST)November 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

GILLIBRAND GLOSSARY

Democrat: a dove when Trump deploys troops; a hawk when he withdraws them. CNN: see “Democrat National Committee”. It’s the same thing. Lib-ral democrat: puts the wants of every undocumented, unvetted, unvaccinated, unemployed, illiterate illegal alien invader, whose Country this ain’t, over the safety and …

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Leave a Comment on GILLIBRAND GLOSSARYNovember 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

I’M SORRY, SISTER ST. JOHN-OF-THE-HOLY-CROSS. I’LL BE GOOD!

The nuns wasted their time threatening us with the horrors of hell. All they hada do was say that there would be endless Adam Sandler movies. How-will-YOU-spend-eternity?

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Leave a Comment on I’M SORRY, SISTER ST. JOHN-OF-THE-HOLY-CROSS. I’LL BE GOOD!November 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

GREEN NEW CONSTITUTION

Only the militia may keep and wear red hats if they bare the right arms of people at the fringe of their 2nd commencement. If this makes sense to you, please buy soft towels and a loofah, shirts that button in the back, shoes that …

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Leave a Comment on GREEN NEW CONSTITUTIONNovember 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

QUIDADO QUE TE CREIA

“There are Jews, Mr. President, and there are Jews.” – Henry Kissinger “There are Southerners, and there are Northfloridians.” -P.Phantomini Like you, onliest thing I knew about Richard Nixon (today it’s the NRA and Trump) was what biased, dishonest, liberal-complaint “news” media told me. At …

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Leave a Comment on QUIDADO QUE TE CREIANovember 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

FIRST, the ad showed her driving while he minds the baby. NOW, Mom comes home from work, finds Dad watching Oprah.

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Leave a Comment on November 12, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

CLEAN MEAT BEATS BIG PHARMA

Fed the dog game meat every other day and halved her arthritis meds. Q: How’d you get her off the other half? A: Fed her game meat every day. P.S.: Her step ramp is now shed siding. Do-dah.

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Leave a Comment on CLEAN MEAT BEATS BIG PHARMAOctober 17, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

SOCIALISTS SEEK SECOND-BEST

You’ve dispensed with Dad and celebrate single moms. Meanwhile, your daughter is knocked-up, your son can’t hang a shelf, your 8-month old is in daycare, and you still rent. What else has progressivism done for you? Sure, there are Moms who cant teach their boy …

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Leave a Comment on SOCIALISTS SEEK SECOND-BESTOctober 17, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

HEAR ME ROAR

Madonna would bomb the White House without a care for all the innocents who work there. American women still swoon. Kathy Griffith holds a facsimile of the severed head of The President of The United States, whom half the Country elected. American women still support …

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Leave a Comment on HEAR ME ROAROctober 17, 2019April 11, 2020 By Brandy

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